Dear Survivor: Grace Amidst Adversity

Dear Survivor,

Hello. How’s life so far? 

More than a year has passed but here you are, still alive and beyond grateful. Thank you for staying strong, for keeping up with the daily form of struggles, and for never giving up.  It was indeed a tough battle and while many have given up, some involuntarily and not ready, you’re among the fortunate victors of the toughest battle the world has to go through. Congratulations.

Ever since young, you’ve always been a risk-taker. You don’t care what life throws at you. You simply consider it as part of the deal living here on earth. You are brave. You’re steadfast. You trust God.  Until 2020 came, a deadly virus dominates the news, and later on, who would think it will dominate the world. As fast as the news of death and people getting inflicted with viruses and hospitals cramming up, your armor of faith and resilience is also wavering in equal speed.

Life is now cast with fears and uncertainties. Everyone is desperate to see the next day. You are also hopeful for tomorrow. People are dying. Families are grieving. And you are very very afraid. And while your faith is at the lowest rate, you chose to use your remaining strength to kneel and pray for His mercy. You bared your soul to Him that you are in so much fear, that you are not yet ready, and you beg to spare the life of your loved ones. You let Him know that you are sorry for the loss of each life and at the same time you are thankful for His grace that you and your family are still alive. You prayed hard for strength and light because your spirit is at its weakest and your thinking is cloudy and blurred.

Thankfully, your prayers are heard. You went on with your life amidst the threat of the killer virus. You’re grateful each day for your new life. You appreciate your family, friends, colleagues, and even strangers more. You are safe and alive. Nothing else greatly matters now than the life and safety of everyone.

You’re also thankful to see the spread of kindness despite the adversities. You didn’t have to look far to see heroic deeds from ordinary people, whether they wear casual clothing or uniformed attire for doctors, fast food workers, police, and military personnel, you look at them all the same. The amount of selfless acts from these people makes you realize that you don’t need to be a front-liner yourself to be part of the chain. Each can do something to help and to inspire.

As such, you and your kids participate in a friend’s initiative to give fruits and letters, and cards for nurses & staff of the Rizal Medical Hospital in Pasig.  You spent a meaningful Sunday afternoon creating handmade cards to show appreciation for their hard work and dedication. You felt these efforts are too small compared to their sacrifices but when you knew how much they appreciate your gestures and tokens, it warms your heart. You also made sure your kids know that what they did is greatly appreciated because you knew they made those cards with gratitude.

A weekend well spent for craft and writing letters

Thankful to be part of a worthy activity by my dear friend Emma

While you have accepted the fact that danger lies for your husband’s role as a front liner since day one, you still can’t help being fearful every day. You just kept praying and trusting the Lord.  You also commend him and his colleagues as they continuously respond to their call of duty caring less about the danger of the unseen enemy. Apart from performing his regular duties and responsibilities as police personnel, you feel proud for your husband when he was tapped by your church Pastor to distribute food with his colleagues in patrol and checkpoint areas. There are also individuals who sent and entrusted sacks of corn and fruits to him and he willingly distributed them to different precincts in Pasig. Through all these activities, there were times he had experience mild to severe symptoms of the virus but with courage and daily prayers, he got well. You are forever grateful and always reminded that all these are because of God’s grace and mercy.

 

Proud of the head of the family as one 
courageous front-liner

The first two months of the lockdown are indeed the most challenging. It has brought so much fear and anxieties from the first day the President announced the lockdown on March 16, 2020 and until today, life is still cast with fears. In this most difficult time, you knew you need a family to hold on to, friends you can rely on, and bosses who understand and provide flexible terms for you to continue to work and earn. There are financial struggles but you managed to pull through with help and assistance from family and friends. 

You remember in 2019 when you and your husband decided to build a house in a sitio (a typically rural location) in Antipolo.  While some people doubt your choice and decision because the place is far and a bit remote, who would have thought that God will reveal the purpose of this blessing a year after. 

2019's blessing

When the lockdown started, strict restrictions and curfews are implemented. No one is allowed to go out of the house and only one designated person per household is permitted to buy for essential needs.  All normal activities are halted. Schools and work switched to home and online settings.  Kids are no longer allowed to play outside.  You fear visiting your senior parents because of their health vulnerability and you yourself can’t even go to a hospital to have your own health issues checked because most hospitals are crowded and prioritizing covid cases only.  These are just too much to bear for one’s mental health and every day you’re asking when all these will be over.

As the number of deaths due to the virus continuously rise, you decided to temporarily leave the city and moved to Antipolo. The house in the mountainside has become a sanctuary, especially for the kids. For months, they were not confined in just the corners of the house, they had the luxury to be close to nature, play and run within the outdoor spaces, feel the warmth of the morning sun and the cool breeze of the late afternoon. 

At night, the sounds of crickets will interrupt your mind from thinking about the uncertain tomorrow and the sight of a full moon gives a desperate need for calm and peace.  You now realized why you badly wanted to have the house constructed despite the insufficient funds and being broke after. Because when things are hardly bearable and you just want to run away from fear and anxieties, the house served a very significant purpose as your family’s refuge.

Living in a sitio has inconveniences but we're ready
to become long-term dwellers

You had the chance to breathe without a mask and allowing yourself to be fully encompassed with nature. For months, you felt safe being surrounded by trees and mountains. You’re truly grateful for nature’s gift.

Always in awe of God's display of His love through nature...

Things are still tough and somehow, you are disappointed with the way the national government handles this pandemic. You long for governance with genuine concern for its people experiencing difficulties and extreme limitations to go on with life. Despite the feeling of having been failed by the higher government, you're still glad that the local government of Pasig has someone who leads with great minds and the biggest of heart.  You’ve never seen someone as competent, as genuine, and as transparent as Mayor Vico Sotto.

Ever since the pandemic started, you witnessed how he tirelessly works on the ground to help out his constituents. He’s the very first one to come up with a community kitchen cooking daily meals for hospital workers and other front liners. There's the immediate distribution of food packs, financial assistance, provided free transportation, launched mobile palengke and passed the Anti-hoard ordinance in groceries and supermarkets within the city.  The kind of leadership he has shown lifts the people from dire situations, at least temporarily.  Many were also inspired and emulate his actions.

Hats off to MVS' amazing and way beyond the
norm's leadership

With these and more consistent assistance from the local government leaders, somehow you know the anxieties will be reduced, fears are lessened and trust to government leaders are being redeemed. Knowing that the city officials and barangay units are doing the best they can to help solidifies an intention to rise above this pandemic as one, that no one has to go through this battle alone.

You initially decided not to enroll your kids last year because you don’t trust the proposed distance and blended learning setup for teachers and students. But the kids are not reluctant with the proposed setup so you went ahead and enrolled them. The current setup may have a lot of flaws and imperfections but the school, the teachers, and students managed to make it work within ways you never thought possible. Despite lots of technical troubles and struggles, you are still grateful that your kids’ learning doesn’t have to stop just because they can’t be at a physical school with their teachers.

First day high

 
You commend and appreciate the teachers for their patience and dedication to teach. And now you’re amazed that after almost a year has passed, the kids survived the very first online distance learning.

But you are also not spared from pain and brokenness. When your beloved cousin died exactly a year ago, you poured your heart out because of grief. You never felt so much pain for years until you confirmed the news of him passing after fighting for his life in the hospital near your place and you can’t even go. 

When our "Angel" has been called home...

Up to this day, you long for that missed opportunity to see him when he visited your Mom and brought pizza for her birthday a few days before his death. You wished you could have hugged or kissed him, threw banters of jokes and funny stories like you always do. It was too regretful not to hear him share how excited he was getting hired to his new job. You’re deeply sorry that you’re not able to say goodbye. Until now, you miss him, his laughs, his beautiful singing voice, and graceful dancing.  Because of too many beautiful memories, there’s a painful void in your heart and you’re not sure for how long it will be there.

You’ve found a way to move on with your loss by getting a plant that you named after him, "Angel". As you care for it every day, you noticed the pain in your heart is not as much as it was before. You're hopeful that in time, you’ll be able to heal completely. 

Surprisingly, because of the plant you bought for your cousin’s memory, you grew fond of plants. You started asking the husband to buy you cactus and succulents and when you finally had the chance to visit your Mom’s house, you voluntarily adopted some of her plants including the pots. You found yourself lurking in an online community for Plant Titos and Titas.  You get overwhelmed with the expensive prices of some plants but you secretly wish to have them too in the future.

Collecting greens...

You overcome the lack of enthusiasm by caring for your plants every day. You felt sad when a few died but they definitely grew in numbers for the last sixteen months. With all the anxieties you went through, these plants made you busy, occupied, hopeful, and nurtured your mental health.

In the beginning, the plants/pots are also practicing social distancing...

You felt great when you realized that you’re capable of bringing these plants to life, remember the giddiness every time you see a new sprout of bud or leaf? They made you happy and at the same time, your funds worried so you needed to stop buying and focused on propagating instead. You have fully embraced a new role as a Plant Tita.  On top of it, you discover new hope from each plant you care for, and in return, they comforted you and kept you survive this difficult phase of life. 

You started as a stressed newbie and together with
your plants, you bloom :)

While many have felt defeat and great loss brought by the pandemic, it’s humbling to see that you persevere, that enough is half a battle won. May you continue to celebrate your victory, whether it’s partial and however small. May you continuously live with courage and resiliency to life’s challenges and keep rising above each situation with a grateful heart. No matter how difficult to fathom the biggest switch of life to the new normal today, you realized that hardship is not the sole take away from what you have experienced. May you always remember the lessons, keep the unwavering faith and have the strongest of heart.

 

A gorgeous sticker-like rainbow appeared after a
night of heavy rains during quarantine period

 “Life can be a storm, but your hope is your rainbow and 
your family and friends are the gold.”

– Steve Maraboli

This story is an entry to ComCo Southeast Asia’s “Write to Ignite Blogging Project Season 2: Dear Survivor”. The initiative continues to respond to the need of our times, as every story comes a long way during this period of crisis.  The initiative aims to pull and collate powerful stories from the Philippine blogging communities to inspire the nation to rise and move forward amidst the difficult situation. The “Write to Ignite Blogging Project” Season 2 is made possible by ComCo Southeast Asia, with Eastern Communications and Jobstreet as co-presenters, with AirAsia and Xiaomi as major sponsors, and with Teleperformance as sponsor.