While it's very common for mothers to take a career break to focus on family and raising kids, it is also challenging to go back to work after a few years of being a stay at home mom.
When I first left my job in 2012, after being employed for fourteen years straight after high school, I really enjoyed the privilege to be one of the chosen employees offered with a retrenchment package. For some, it was definitely a sad moment but I was feeling the opposite, in fact, I've been hoping for it. It was hard for me to decide to resign then because of financial concerns, but I know my kid needs my time more than what I can provide apart from work so I took advantage of the opportunity.
When the retrenchment comes, I was a bit relieved because I will have funds even though I will become unemployed. While I was leaving sad because I'm going to miss my colleagues at work, I'm also excited. I'll be able to focus on my first born, it was a very good timing too because he will be going to school already. I was looking forward to becoming a full-time Mom, yes!! I'll be able to fulfill the duties of a mom and a wife, will be spending more time and creating beautiful memories with my two boys then.
Months have passed, there are times I miss work, a lot! But I have no regrets. I have all the time in the world to be with my family plus we don't have to worry for funds...yet. However, as funds become fleeting, as much as I want to stay a sahm, I had to consider again of returning back to work.
After one and a half year, I applied for jobs again, got hired then resigned after two months, I'm no longer used to being away from my kid for more than ten hours, I feel sad at work. I maximized a lot of bathroom breaks to text my husband and check on them, I can't wait to be with them. I remember the last day before I decided that I am not coming back to work, I had anxiety attack. Before coming to work that night, my son has slight fever, not something big to worry though, and because I'm still on training period, I can't be absent but I was late. My son won't let me off for work so I had to let him sleep first before I left.
When I got to work, my supervisor then confronted me why I was late and he was mad, I think he missed that I did notify that I'll be late. So he started saying stuff about caring for my probationary status and that if I'll be 'pasaway' this early, I better decide if I still want to continue. That took the toll on me and right in front of my supervisor, I cried! I think the guy was shocked and suddenly he changed his tone from reprimanding to being concern, also because we are in the pantry and some employees are becoming curious already. So I explained to him why I was late, with non-stop sob and tears. He allowed me to rest and fix myself before going back inside but right there and then, I want to get my bag and leave. But I stayed until my shift is over and when I left the building, I knew there was no turning back.
So I was unemployed. Again. I was glad I'm back to my 'happy world' but I was broke. Life goes on, my husband can still provide for our needs but deep inside me, I want to help him too with our bills. And there are things that I want to buy for myself that I can’t' buy because those are not priorities, I'm not used to spending his money for my personal whims, I feel shy. I started selling my stuff online especially my office clothes and shoes which I no longer use just so I would have money to spend for myself that I won't feel guilty.
After a few months, an opportunity came. I was offered to become a project coordinator for a web design project for a government agency with six months of work contract. I immediately said yes to be part of it, the pay is also very attractive. The catch is, we won't get paid until the project is 100% delivered, of course I had to negotiate. In the end, our contractor who is the project manager, agreed to pay us from his own pocket for every phase of the project we could deliver, fair enough.
Being a coordinator includes attending a weekly meeting in the client's office in Diliman. As easy as it may sound, the reality is it was not. A lot of people are involved plus the department has different branches in different regions and provinces, the requirements are not only coming from the main office in Manila, so there were delays. The project was not finished in six months, as initially agreed to, it took a year before completion. And I have to force my colleagues to work on it and complete all our deliverable before I will have to deliver my second baby. Yes, I became pregnant with baby number two while working on the project.
After that one year stint, I had to stop working because there's a new baby. Although the new addition to our family brought so much joy and hope, it was also the same year we were struggling financially. The Lord has always been faithful, I was unemployed, my husband's salary is our only source of income but we're still able to manage our bills, pay for our older son's tuition fee, buy formula milk and diapers. But there are times when the funds are just not enough. We had to sell our car.. our beloved car :(. I don't agree with the husband's decision, my older son was crying when he learned about it, seeing him sad about losing our car breaks my heart and I can't take that off my mind for years.
After we sold the car, we bought a truck and joined a relative's trucking business. The money we got from selling the car was not enough for the cost of the truck; we still have to pay the balance within two years. It was tough and stressful during the first year but we endured. On the second year though, the business started to slow down, there are months when our expenses are even bigger than our income. We had to secure for additional funds to keep the business going. Unfortunately, the owner decided to sell all her trucks because the business have been incurring losses and having a tough time to recover. Sadly, we decided to let go of our truck too before nothing is left. This was the second time my heart got broken again, losing our truck, and I was really sad.
The trucking business was unsuccessful but we learned a lot from that experience. We decided to stay away from doing business for the meantime. And because I can’t do full time work, I looked for other ways to earn - I became an Insurance Agent then the following year, my friends and I decided to put up a catering business. I enjoyed doing both things at the same time, and I didn’t need to be confined in an office for nine hours, nurturing my mommy guilt for missing my children.
As an Insurance Agent, I learned a lot from the free training and seminars, I gained valuable wisdom in handling & managing my own finances and at the same time advocates securing a family by having an insured members in every household. My commissions supported me and I was able to help my husband with our bills. It was a serious career where opportunities to earn lucrative income is endless, it’s just that, it’s probably not the right career fit for me. After more than four years, I left the insurance industry & focused on our catering business.
In between my insurance career and having a catering business, I was still able to work at night thru a work-from home setup with former colleagues. It was a good two years of fixed monthly income until it got dissolved. I only have one source of income by third quarter of 2019 and I remember I became broke again :(.
Managing a catering business since 2015 up to the first quarter of 2020 didn’t spare me from tough challenges as well. When we started the business, we were originally 5 members and because of misunderstandings and consistent fights among members, we finally decided to go separate ways. I remained with two of the members and since then, we managed to run the business just fine.
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